I may not be the first parent to tell his (and of course her) daughter never to lie. But plausibly I may be the first one to tell this even after realising that Truth is the most violent event.
I have had friends who were expert in lying on the spot. I have had foes who never pretended to be truthful but many times they were ruthlessly so. I have been forced or coaxed into lying, only to have been left alone to keep track of own lies.
I do not remember when I resolved not to lie , it may be 2 years back. I slowly learnt to enjoy the fun of being truthful. Thing is that you won’t need to undergo Norco test or sit on a lie-detector to find yourself lying. You don’t need to reinvent off-label use of relativity tablet .You know it.
Having mastered the fun of not lying, I further went ahead and suggested my daughter trying this fun. She agreed with same apprehensive & careful kindness with which she must have resolved to treat me. She began practising the art of not lying. It was not too difficult initially for her because probably she wasn’t aware that she was semi-truthful some times and those semi-truths went unnoticed. Sure enough dark atrocities of truth caught-up with her. Months passed by.
After several irritations and facing awkward situations she was almost on the verge of rejecting the morbidity of being truthful all the time. But a day came when she came out with flying colours only because she had opted not to lie.
Bingo! She was hooked. That incidence changed her ( I think). She wasn’t even aware of the trap. In fact it wasn’t even a trap. It was just a normal situation where a teen ager was expected to hide the truth to save the situation. She didn’t. Her peers & mentors appreciated. She has been since held in a silent semi-micro respect by all in her team.
You don’t need to ride in the Dharmaraj’s chariot when you have option of carrying your own little mirror. As a student of Gandhian thought , I am always fascinated by the guiding principles old man has laid down for us . Truth , non-violence and trusteeship are the most haunting and at times highly contradictory. In my opinion , you practise truth and offer yourself for violence. Owning truth is the purest form of violence. No I am not playing with words.
Try practising truth : for a week or two. Then come back & leave your comments on my blog. It ain’t simple putting your soul through roller coaster of facing consequences of calling spade a spade. Without sense of humour you can’t endure it. That creates fun.
I am sure my daughter will tell same thing to her daughter.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Portrait of a Vermiculturist as an old man:
If you have close to fifty (fifty something) flowerpots sitting in your 4 balcony pockets with fabulous plants and if you have resolved not to use chemical fertilizers, then raising earthworms in those pots is the best option.
Plants get carbon from air and nitrogen vitally required for body building needs to come from soil. There is a big headache for plants if soil underneath is frugal in supplying nitrogen. In wild environment, nitrogen keeps coming from decaying organic matter and the bacteria hanging on to the roots. If plants are to live in an urban balcony, nitrogen availability becomes an issue.
Normal wood decaying around roots may not be greatest philanthropist below the earth. You get nitrogen only once when you visit 300 times. It decays with its own sweet time. Leaves however are kind especially if earthworms are around to feed on them. The worm droppings are best nitrogen vendors. You get nitrogen once in only 30 visits. Wormway ® is Ten times better than WoodMall ®!
So where’s the beef Mac?
I have fifty pots & I begun raising earthworms in them this monsoon. Indian monsoon prediction failed as predicted .Some butterfly fluttering its wings without any notice served on Dr. Govarikar did the trick.
Rains arrived late. Our building compound was late in presenting worms to the weird worm collector who got up early morning and hunted for the worms that might be out on the limb to explore if dirt on other side of the hiding place was any greener. The novice collector was looking for healthy adults while young ones crawled underneath the soil. It wasn’t too late before he embarked on ‘Catch ‘em young’ campaign. His zeal was unbeatable even by the volunteers sitting in booths outside of National Democratic Convention.
Soon he got at least 10 worm lings and a couple of adults in each pot. He did not have any food supplied in the pots. By the time he realised the situation, most of the worms had escaped the brutal prison where food wasn’t supplied. The jailer had failed to notice their escape. He didn’t know that worms surfaced in night time, sniffed around to find nothing rotting in the neighbourhood and got frustrated further since the student Vermiculturist had flooded their hiding places by over watering the plants. They had to climb down the pot surfaces and hide underneath pots where good clean rot was found. Moreover they escaped the curious visitations of the student who poked the soil with anything sharp nearby to confirm their whereabouts. Of course life under the pots wasn’t too exciting especially when the student was away and no water sipped thru the soil. Ants were out hunting for fresh & dry worms. A spider who recently relocated near the pots prying on ants was the only solace who feasted on the ants.
“ It ain’t too easy being a worm ” some depressed worms were heard murmuring by ants. The murmur however fell on deaf ears of student who was busy surfing internet to find the cause of sudden exodus of his inmates.
Soon the student learnt to provide sumptuous ration of wet mud soaked leaves and the algae to pot residents. He learnt many things at the cost of early unfed heroes. Soon his early morning worm hunt in the drizzling monsoon stopped attracting lazy stares of the neighbours who had gotten used to ignoring his fast growing and profusely flowering plants in the midst of multiplying worms. His hunt ended as soon as he saw a worm any number of times he poked the soil any deeper all over in all the 50 pots. He was a proud trustee of 2000 something worms. Plants were happy since they got the food delivered at their feet.
Lessons from 3 months of Worm rearing in flowerpots
1. Worms are people too, they need to eat and sleep in damp soil.
2. Their droppings are a good food for roots of the plants but the droppings are only a consequence & not the aim of their living.
3. Their aim is to eat the decomposing stuff spilled around their neck’s reach. They reproduce all the time.
4. Confinement at Darkness frees their soul from the fear of predating ants & birds.
5. If I were a worm ( may not be a remote possibility ) I won’t venture the long distance treks across the dry land to get to the food. I would rather stay in a damp stinking place with lots of leaves to munch on.
6. Yes they like the stench. May be they can smell thru skin.
7. There is an interesting observation. They hate the fragrance. This observation is a result of a trial on literally hand picked subjects. The trial is single pot, open label, placebo-uncontrolled and retrospective.
8. Hold it there Mac , don’t reject this study just because you sit on Lancet Editorial board.
9. Our Vermiculturist Pro observed disproportionately high exodus of worms from a pot which was next to a flowering plant. The flowers were exhibited in plenty squandering the fragrance in surrounding wet air. Believe it or not. They just quit.
10. So, sauce good for humans is not good for worms !
11. Back to worm rearing : Big earthworms may not hang around too long even if plenty food there. Their willing souls may be leaving weak bodies.
12. Great place to stay for them is : In a pot soil covered with plenty rotting leaves , cool dampness without N,P,K nonsense around .Of course tender stares of onlookers are great aphrodisiacs.
This reportage is now discontinued till our Pro finds additional stuff to report.
Amen
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Essence surely outlasts existence
Hey, it might come after existence but essence surely outlasts existence
I think about death more & more these days having crossed that magic number “fifty”. Many of my friends left this place over last few years. Of course all of them are still with me, in my memories.
Jean-Paul Sartre, I am sorry big man. You are right in your own way. But I think the essence outlives existence.
Sweet & sour memories of all my relatives and friends linger in my mind all the time. When they were alive, yes; the memories were static awaiting next reinforcement. But once those persons have quit their bodies, their memories have become more intense and dynamic in my mind.
I do not think of death as some irreversible dark event. Not only because I am born as a Hindu but also because I have understood the death I think (aha & that’s why I exist; ain’t it!?)
Since so many people have written so much about death I would resist investing time on it here. I cannot add anything significant than whatever has been said.
I however salute those memories and wish the departed souls a jolly good time wherever they have checked in.
I think about death more & more these days having crossed that magic number “fifty”. Many of my friends left this place over last few years. Of course all of them are still with me, in my memories.
Jean-Paul Sartre, I am sorry big man. You are right in your own way. But I think the essence outlives existence.
Sweet & sour memories of all my relatives and friends linger in my mind all the time. When they were alive, yes; the memories were static awaiting next reinforcement. But once those persons have quit their bodies, their memories have become more intense and dynamic in my mind.
I do not think of death as some irreversible dark event. Not only because I am born as a Hindu but also because I have understood the death I think (aha & that’s why I exist; ain’t it!?)
Since so many people have written so much about death I would resist investing time on it here. I cannot add anything significant than whatever has been said.
I however salute those memories and wish the departed souls a jolly good time wherever they have checked in.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
“Life is miserable if you take it seriously.”
--Prof. George Whitesides
(American Chemical Society’s 2007 Priestley Medalist).
This is one of the most hilarious quotes I have heard in last several months.
I must have mentioned this to so many of my friends over last one year.
I was trying to contact one of my friends the other day who is a highly sought after organic chemist. Academics chase him. Industry guys chase him. First time I called him, he was driving his car heading home at 7 pm. He couldn’t talk to me. He carried the cell phone. Yes, it was not switched off.
When he returned the call, I was having dinner. We couldn’t talk.
Next morning I called him, he was in shower. When he returned the call, I was in a meeting; but I received the call.
“Are you on the move?”
“Very much so!” He said . I could hear someone barking at him. He was pulling his car out of parking lot and had hit a auto rickshaw fellow.
“Forget it, we will talk later” – I said. He hung up.
Most of us are on the run. Cell phones make us contactable wherever we are.
Many things to do. All are important.
You need to ensure that enough money is available in the accounts from which you pay bills automatically or invest in mutual funds under systematic investment plan.
You need to know that supper is the only time you can have a relaxed chat with your kids. Of course if you happen to have 6 kids, half of them may not be at the dinner table. And yes, you have to remember not to worry about their whereabouts.
You need to remember not to receive a call on cell phone when you are on a teleconference with 6 other people residing in different time zones and sitting in various places including a submarine. Say if you are in a submarine and some one knocks on the door, you should not open the door.
Fun apart, life in metros is very hectic. If you loose the sense of proportion, you might end up investing time in things not too close to your heart. When days are trickling away, one should seriously consider investing time and resources on select activities.
(American Chemical Society’s 2007 Priestley Medalist).
This is one of the most hilarious quotes I have heard in last several months.
I must have mentioned this to so many of my friends over last one year.
I was trying to contact one of my friends the other day who is a highly sought after organic chemist. Academics chase him. Industry guys chase him. First time I called him, he was driving his car heading home at 7 pm. He couldn’t talk to me. He carried the cell phone. Yes, it was not switched off.
When he returned the call, I was having dinner. We couldn’t talk.
Next morning I called him, he was in shower. When he returned the call, I was in a meeting; but I received the call.
“Are you on the move?”
“Very much so!” He said . I could hear someone barking at him. He was pulling his car out of parking lot and had hit a auto rickshaw fellow.
“Forget it, we will talk later” – I said. He hung up.
Most of us are on the run. Cell phones make us contactable wherever we are.
Many things to do. All are important.
You need to ensure that enough money is available in the accounts from which you pay bills automatically or invest in mutual funds under systematic investment plan.
You need to know that supper is the only time you can have a relaxed chat with your kids. Of course if you happen to have 6 kids, half of them may not be at the dinner table. And yes, you have to remember not to worry about their whereabouts.
You need to remember not to receive a call on cell phone when you are on a teleconference with 6 other people residing in different time zones and sitting in various places including a submarine. Say if you are in a submarine and some one knocks on the door, you should not open the door.
Fun apart, life in metros is very hectic. If you loose the sense of proportion, you might end up investing time in things not too close to your heart. When days are trickling away, one should seriously consider investing time and resources on select activities.
Yes, I am having an affair
If you cross fifty & confess that you were in love; not many eyebrows are raised.
She is gorgeous. Has a multifaceted personality. Every time I see her from different angles, I see her in multitude of colors. Actually she is not my first; she came in my life much later. It wasn’t easy to fathom her moods. She allowed me to keep a distance from others. I used her quite often when I meant to give others a piece of my mind. After so many years of togetherness, I can’t get married to her; because I am in love with my first one.
I always prefer to take her with me when I travel abroad. Not that everybody around me likes it, but I can’t help it.
If flirting with language is not allowed then how could you express yourself? How would you draft immaculate patent claims. How could you spread white lies? How could you express deep gratitude for others who helped you prosper?
I am having an affair with language.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
About Renaissance personality & Trans-techxual folks
© Uday Gokhale
We many times meet, work with or ‘stuck with’ (depending upon how you look at it), persons with diverse aptitudes. They are widely known as say Computer experts but are very good at building their own wooden furniture. They come in several colors. Some are great accountants and fabulous cooks on side. Some are clever Patent attorneys & quintessential film script writers.
Yep, many personalities living in a single body. Hold it Mac , don’t use that schizoph..... word.
It is great to be able to appreciate Claude Monet, probe into decision crisis of Abhimanu and yet aim to get fantastic chiral induction using a Nayori hydrogenation catalyst.
Other day in our engineering company we had one social function. One guy who was considered close to anti social took initiative & performed one skit. Very hilarious skit. We all got a heart attack of our life time. Hey, we never thought he would have such a nice sense of humor. From next day he was popular as the rediscovered ‘Trans-techxual’.
He came out of closet.
In Chennai, now you can declare yourself as gender T and get a ration card.
In your CV, don’t refrain from adding suffix P if you are a great Painter.
e.g. Ph. D.( Inorganic chemistry, P). You never know, your interviewer may be a fan of Monet. You will surely get a job if not a ration card !
So, folks if you have many talents, come out in open. We can’t afford to have too crowded closets.
Where is William Safire these days? He may note that Trans-techxual is my coinage.
© Uday Gokhale
We many times meet, work with or ‘stuck with’ (depending upon how you look at it), persons with diverse aptitudes. They are widely known as say Computer experts but are very good at building their own wooden furniture. They come in several colors. Some are great accountants and fabulous cooks on side. Some are clever Patent attorneys & quintessential film script writers.
Yep, many personalities living in a single body. Hold it Mac , don’t use that schizoph..... word.
It is great to be able to appreciate Claude Monet, probe into decision crisis of Abhimanu and yet aim to get fantastic chiral induction using a Nayori hydrogenation catalyst.
Other day in our engineering company we had one social function. One guy who was considered close to anti social took initiative & performed one skit. Very hilarious skit. We all got a heart attack of our life time. Hey, we never thought he would have such a nice sense of humor. From next day he was popular as the rediscovered ‘Trans-techxual’.
He came out of closet.
In Chennai, now you can declare yourself as gender T and get a ration card.
In your CV, don’t refrain from adding suffix P if you are a great Painter.
e.g. Ph. D.( Inorganic chemistry, P). You never know, your interviewer may be a fan of Monet. You will surely get a job if not a ration card !
So, folks if you have many talents, come out in open. We can’t afford to have too crowded closets.
Where is William Safire these days? He may note that Trans-techxual is my coinage.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
An evening in Brussels / Dec. 2004
Bingo ! It really existed in the middle half portion of Belgium! In fact I had seen the atlas (to which my daughter hardly refers) and had located this Belgium country on left upper-side of France. I could also see a small dot on the map, which was labeled “Brussels”. I had also heard that Brussels was a capital city of Belgium and European union main offices existed there since 1958.
We were visiting for exhibition. When we landed in Belgium and were driven to Stalingrad Avenue by a taxi driver, I engaged him in conversation with me. He (initially rather reluctantly but later full-heartedly upon experiencing my enthusiasm) narrated the things he knew about Brussels.
We talked in English (my Hinglish and his Flemglish or Fringlish). Two languages are spoken in Belgium he said : Flemish/ Dutch and French ; Brussels had 50:50 population he further said who use these languages. As we headed to our Hotel, which was in the process of being transformed into a Hotel, we drove on clean roads often flanked by trees with or without leaves. Some roads were not cement concretized; they wore these small brick like pieces all over and car made a humming sound. Temperature was hardly 10 deg. and the super-warm cloths worn by our export manager looked quite ridiculous but who will bell the cat!
Surprisingly there was not much of human existence I could see when we drove. When asked, our driver said that most of the people were hiding in their offices (it must be around 10 o’clock morning, still no rush and I said to my-self look at Dombivli, my home town around same time and one would see hundreds of people) and he said that around noon–time he expected some rush of folks collecting their school kids.
By the time we reached and settled in our rooms it was 3 something. Some of us (not me !) had planned to go to the exhibition hall to check on our stall etc. Seventy Euros had been spent on the taxi, so only four people decided to visit the stall by engaging one taxi (hoping that expenditure will be around seventy only)
I had decided to walk on the Brussels streets without any purpose (I of course wanted to see the best museum in the city, but for some strange reason that was not the only objective to roam on the street).
By that time may be because of gusting wind, the temperature felt on the skin was much less than 5°C. I checked up with the front desk fellow in the hotel to find out the best museum in the city and of course the Manniken Piss. The fellow was white/ possibly French and slightly absentminded. He was apologetic somewhat because the rooms were not adequately warm, the heater in my room was not working at all. When I fired him for this inconvenience, he promised me to make a call somewhere and get the god damn heater fixed by next morning. He offered an electrical heater as an alternative to heat the room, which again made a horrible clink-clank noise coming from the fan. He knew I was pissed and for right reason, but somehow his face reflected a funny albeit hope-less expression. Later he became a buddy of mine and embarked on describing to me the locations of museums on the city map spread in front of us.
In short what he told was : I had to keep walking on Stalingrad avenue toward east. And in that direction I was going to find the Manniken Piss and museum. That museum was Old and contemporary art museum, situated on a road right across the Cathedral. I pretended that I understood the locations, thanked him and returned to the room. Got my-self all dressed-up to hopefully face 2°C , some four hours from then.
I wasn’t hungry surprisingly. Only light snacks were served on the flight and there was every reason for me to be hungry. But I wasn’t. May be body clock was not co-operating. I confirmed the whereabouts of three hundred Euros in the pockets (there were so many pockets you will not believe on the shirt, pant, jacket and the over-coat I was wearing, I had to make sure which pocket carried the passport and which carried the money and the street map).
Don’t know why but they say you have to carry your passport on you all the time when you are in a foreign country. But I did not feel I was in foreign country. I thought I was going for shopping on 82nd street in Edmonton (in those days(1984) I could not afford the fancy overcoat I was wearing in Brussels, I used to wear a parka – picked up in the Army Navy shop in pre-Christmas sale).
Got out on the road.
Must be around 4:30 ish in the watch which I was not wearing in any case. In fact I had no wrist watch on me. I am used to using time on my cell phone. No cell phone in Brussels for me and hence no Time for me in Brussels.
First I ensured which one was the East before started walking. Streets were still not crowded. I did not know that the same roads will start flooding with people by 10 o’clock in the night. Climate was fantastic. I had nothing to carry on me. A scarf was needed I realized, but then it was too late. I had not carried any scarf on me. The roads were made of small bricks. The roads appeared too narrow to qualify as Roads. It’s not that wider streets didn’t exist but for that I had to walk for half an hour to get to the Brussels Central alias Brussels down town.
Whole city appeared to have various levels on which gardens, churches, buildings and roads were engraved. Small roads were again made of bricks so to say. I had earlier walked on the streets of Zurich, Basle and Frankfurt. But this brick-road impact has been more pronounced on my mind after that Brussels evening. In Manhattan or in general in New-York city, one notices the fire/emergency staircases hung on the residential buildings. So when somebody would ask me to describe New-York city, I would draw a street, name it as 42nd street, draw a building and would hang couple of staircases on that building. Like wise if somebody to ask me to draw a European street, it would be brick-lined!
So much for the impressions left by a short time exposure to a city !
I hit the Manniken Piss by accident. I call it an accident because I had already forgotten the road directions given by the hotel fellow. I was taking serious diversions from Stalingrad avenue. This Stalingrad avenue it-self was not a great street. I was peeping through various shops and was doing frantic window-shopping. While doing so, I experienced a slight commotion on a street corner. When I went closer I saw that celebrated statue pissing coolly in a corner with plenty Chinese and Japanese (Yes I can distinguish) tourists photographing that statue furiously. If Sagar (my childhood friend) would have been with me we would have laughed at the top of our voices in that cold semi-crowded evening street. I expected that statue to be in the middle of the road in a huge square at a very prominent place. If it were not for those tourists I would have missed it completely and rather blatantly.
I found it necessary to enter one coffee shop at that point. I did not do it though since one shop on a corner there had some small affordable things to be purchased for my daughter. I did that and then entered the coffee shop.
Again not many bodies inside. If I had seen any women sitting in the shops that had to be a grand coincidence. I really didn’t see a single. For the record, I must write that I was not looking at only women but was just curious as to why streets were so deserted. And even if I were looking for women that would have been statistically normal since they make 49% (give or take 1%) of any population.
The coffee shop owner had a funny accent and so did the customer, who asked for a coffee and struggled for next 100 hours to be understood as café, not Coffee. I also purchased an item which looked and tested like a sandwich. This time I was clever. I just pointed at the item and the shop owner realized that it was best to offer that to me fast before I opened my mouth. I sat on the chair next to a table inside the shop. I ate the sandwich very slowly as do the characters of John Grisham.
Back on the street and walking toward Brussels Cathedral.
Probably I did not mention that my Indian habit of crossing the road without giving a xxxx about the traffic almost killed me couple of times on that evening. Thank God I don’t understand swear words in Flemish or French, plus the car windows were closed and if the driver inside the car swore at me, I didn’t hear it.
The place where I reached was beautiful. The buildings had this old European architecture, which I have been used to see in history books (and off late on TV). Yes the museum was there, but was closed since it was Monday. It is kept open on Sunday for the tourists. I saw the statues at the entrance of the museum, which were looking like some angels in Greek mythological books. There was a museum of musical instruments too which again was closed due to - Monday.
From the vantage point of the Cathedral, I could see the city spread on both sides. Gardens, brick-roads and the quiet traffic is the gross impression on my mind. Horse meat, mussels and French fries made of Belgium potato are the delicacies. I could try only French fries.
That evening I returned to hotel around 8 o’clock. Walking back to hotel was not much of a problem since I knew the general direction and the not too famous Stalingrad Avenue. My eyes had perceived the roads as branches of Stalingrad Avenue. So I had to only get back to “main” road without getting too much distracted by my own window shopping, cool chitchatting with the old-book-sellers and of course without getting run over by the cars when I inadvertently crossed the road at wrong places.
I reached the hotel to find another guy at the front desk. He was a black guy speaking in English with very hard French accent. He was supposed to guard the night-shift. A tall, friendly and little hesitant character who refused next morning to allow me to use his PC for accessing my e-mails. He said ‘after fixing the break-fast he would allow me to use the PC’. I didn’t understand the logic behind his position but then he boiled the water for us “early” ie. at 5 o’clock so that we could seep the coffee (sorry café). His very methodical and standardized mind could not comprehend Indian customers waking-up at 4 o’clock in the morning and very modestly requesting for a cup of coffee.
Now we are into next morning 4 o’clock. I shared the room with my colleague. Both of us snored like hell during all 4 nights without disturbing each other. Used to get up early for some reason and used to go out for a walk. Main reason was my colleague wanted to smoke the cigarette which had to be preceded by the tea or café. Since the standardized European mind of hotel staff did not allow for such deviations, we decided to frequent the nite-shops. There were many of them on various corners. Some served café some didn’t. One of them manned by an Egyptian fellow suited us well. In fact that guy was from Morocco. Obviously all these nite-shops were served by either Pakistanis or by Immigrants from Morocco. This Morocco connection was quite interesting. I had heard of this Morocco on TV and might have read in history books. It must be some kind of country in Africa. After returning home , I have found no time to look in the world map.
These nite-shops had a fabulous food boiling hot and ready to be served. I must confess that the thought crossed my mind to taste that hot food at 4:00 am, but my gut would not have allowed this deviation. But with second thought now, I feel I should have tried that food. (food probably comes next to sex in terms of haunting the human mind, even my mind).
Early mornings were quite beautiful.
Brick-roads, lazy cars parked on both sides and surprisingly not a single bird heard giving a food call. I could of course cross the roads without worrying about cars passing by.
All these night experiences on Brussels roads were pleasant. I haven’t left my heart in Brussels, not even in the Palace, which we saw on last morning there on our way back to Airport.
The day-experiences were typical. All business , all money talk and white lies for the missed commitments to our customers.
Due to sub-optimal planning, we had no time left for sight seeing or shopping in the city. May be next time we should plan properly.
We were visiting for exhibition. When we landed in Belgium and were driven to Stalingrad Avenue by a taxi driver, I engaged him in conversation with me. He (initially rather reluctantly but later full-heartedly upon experiencing my enthusiasm) narrated the things he knew about Brussels.
We talked in English (my Hinglish and his Flemglish or Fringlish). Two languages are spoken in Belgium he said : Flemish/ Dutch and French ; Brussels had 50:50 population he further said who use these languages. As we headed to our Hotel, which was in the process of being transformed into a Hotel, we drove on clean roads often flanked by trees with or without leaves. Some roads were not cement concretized; they wore these small brick like pieces all over and car made a humming sound. Temperature was hardly 10 deg. and the super-warm cloths worn by our export manager looked quite ridiculous but who will bell the cat!
Surprisingly there was not much of human existence I could see when we drove. When asked, our driver said that most of the people were hiding in their offices (it must be around 10 o’clock morning, still no rush and I said to my-self look at Dombivli, my home town around same time and one would see hundreds of people) and he said that around noon–time he expected some rush of folks collecting their school kids.
By the time we reached and settled in our rooms it was 3 something. Some of us (not me !) had planned to go to the exhibition hall to check on our stall etc. Seventy Euros had been spent on the taxi, so only four people decided to visit the stall by engaging one taxi (hoping that expenditure will be around seventy only)
I had decided to walk on the Brussels streets without any purpose (I of course wanted to see the best museum in the city, but for some strange reason that was not the only objective to roam on the street).
By that time may be because of gusting wind, the temperature felt on the skin was much less than 5°C. I checked up with the front desk fellow in the hotel to find out the best museum in the city and of course the Manniken Piss. The fellow was white/ possibly French and slightly absentminded. He was apologetic somewhat because the rooms were not adequately warm, the heater in my room was not working at all. When I fired him for this inconvenience, he promised me to make a call somewhere and get the god damn heater fixed by next morning. He offered an electrical heater as an alternative to heat the room, which again made a horrible clink-clank noise coming from the fan. He knew I was pissed and for right reason, but somehow his face reflected a funny albeit hope-less expression. Later he became a buddy of mine and embarked on describing to me the locations of museums on the city map spread in front of us.
In short what he told was : I had to keep walking on Stalingrad avenue toward east. And in that direction I was going to find the Manniken Piss and museum. That museum was Old and contemporary art museum, situated on a road right across the Cathedral. I pretended that I understood the locations, thanked him and returned to the room. Got my-self all dressed-up to hopefully face 2°C , some four hours from then.
I wasn’t hungry surprisingly. Only light snacks were served on the flight and there was every reason for me to be hungry. But I wasn’t. May be body clock was not co-operating. I confirmed the whereabouts of three hundred Euros in the pockets (there were so many pockets you will not believe on the shirt, pant, jacket and the over-coat I was wearing, I had to make sure which pocket carried the passport and which carried the money and the street map).
Don’t know why but they say you have to carry your passport on you all the time when you are in a foreign country. But I did not feel I was in foreign country. I thought I was going for shopping on 82nd street in Edmonton (in those days(1984) I could not afford the fancy overcoat I was wearing in Brussels, I used to wear a parka – picked up in the Army Navy shop in pre-Christmas sale).
Got out on the road.
Must be around 4:30 ish in the watch which I was not wearing in any case. In fact I had no wrist watch on me. I am used to using time on my cell phone. No cell phone in Brussels for me and hence no Time for me in Brussels.
First I ensured which one was the East before started walking. Streets were still not crowded. I did not know that the same roads will start flooding with people by 10 o’clock in the night. Climate was fantastic. I had nothing to carry on me. A scarf was needed I realized, but then it was too late. I had not carried any scarf on me. The roads were made of small bricks. The roads appeared too narrow to qualify as Roads. It’s not that wider streets didn’t exist but for that I had to walk for half an hour to get to the Brussels Central alias Brussels down town.
Whole city appeared to have various levels on which gardens, churches, buildings and roads were engraved. Small roads were again made of bricks so to say. I had earlier walked on the streets of Zurich, Basle and Frankfurt. But this brick-road impact has been more pronounced on my mind after that Brussels evening. In Manhattan or in general in New-York city, one notices the fire/emergency staircases hung on the residential buildings. So when somebody would ask me to describe New-York city, I would draw a street, name it as 42nd street, draw a building and would hang couple of staircases on that building. Like wise if somebody to ask me to draw a European street, it would be brick-lined!
So much for the impressions left by a short time exposure to a city !
I hit the Manniken Piss by accident. I call it an accident because I had already forgotten the road directions given by the hotel fellow. I was taking serious diversions from Stalingrad avenue. This Stalingrad avenue it-self was not a great street. I was peeping through various shops and was doing frantic window-shopping. While doing so, I experienced a slight commotion on a street corner. When I went closer I saw that celebrated statue pissing coolly in a corner with plenty Chinese and Japanese (Yes I can distinguish) tourists photographing that statue furiously. If Sagar (my childhood friend) would have been with me we would have laughed at the top of our voices in that cold semi-crowded evening street. I expected that statue to be in the middle of the road in a huge square at a very prominent place. If it were not for those tourists I would have missed it completely and rather blatantly.
I found it necessary to enter one coffee shop at that point. I did not do it though since one shop on a corner there had some small affordable things to be purchased for my daughter. I did that and then entered the coffee shop.
Again not many bodies inside. If I had seen any women sitting in the shops that had to be a grand coincidence. I really didn’t see a single. For the record, I must write that I was not looking at only women but was just curious as to why streets were so deserted. And even if I were looking for women that would have been statistically normal since they make 49% (give or take 1%) of any population.
The coffee shop owner had a funny accent and so did the customer, who asked for a coffee and struggled for next 100 hours to be understood as café, not Coffee. I also purchased an item which looked and tested like a sandwich. This time I was clever. I just pointed at the item and the shop owner realized that it was best to offer that to me fast before I opened my mouth. I sat on the chair next to a table inside the shop. I ate the sandwich very slowly as do the characters of John Grisham.
Back on the street and walking toward Brussels Cathedral.
Probably I did not mention that my Indian habit of crossing the road without giving a xxxx about the traffic almost killed me couple of times on that evening. Thank God I don’t understand swear words in Flemish or French, plus the car windows were closed and if the driver inside the car swore at me, I didn’t hear it.
The place where I reached was beautiful. The buildings had this old European architecture, which I have been used to see in history books (and off late on TV). Yes the museum was there, but was closed since it was Monday. It is kept open on Sunday for the tourists. I saw the statues at the entrance of the museum, which were looking like some angels in Greek mythological books. There was a museum of musical instruments too which again was closed due to - Monday.
From the vantage point of the Cathedral, I could see the city spread on both sides. Gardens, brick-roads and the quiet traffic is the gross impression on my mind. Horse meat, mussels and French fries made of Belgium potato are the delicacies. I could try only French fries.
That evening I returned to hotel around 8 o’clock. Walking back to hotel was not much of a problem since I knew the general direction and the not too famous Stalingrad Avenue. My eyes had perceived the roads as branches of Stalingrad Avenue. So I had to only get back to “main” road without getting too much distracted by my own window shopping, cool chitchatting with the old-book-sellers and of course without getting run over by the cars when I inadvertently crossed the road at wrong places.
I reached the hotel to find another guy at the front desk. He was a black guy speaking in English with very hard French accent. He was supposed to guard the night-shift. A tall, friendly and little hesitant character who refused next morning to allow me to use his PC for accessing my e-mails. He said ‘after fixing the break-fast he would allow me to use the PC’. I didn’t understand the logic behind his position but then he boiled the water for us “early” ie. at 5 o’clock so that we could seep the coffee (sorry café). His very methodical and standardized mind could not comprehend Indian customers waking-up at 4 o’clock in the morning and very modestly requesting for a cup of coffee.
Now we are into next morning 4 o’clock. I shared the room with my colleague. Both of us snored like hell during all 4 nights without disturbing each other. Used to get up early for some reason and used to go out for a walk. Main reason was my colleague wanted to smoke the cigarette which had to be preceded by the tea or café. Since the standardized European mind of hotel staff did not allow for such deviations, we decided to frequent the nite-shops. There were many of them on various corners. Some served café some didn’t. One of them manned by an Egyptian fellow suited us well. In fact that guy was from Morocco. Obviously all these nite-shops were served by either Pakistanis or by Immigrants from Morocco. This Morocco connection was quite interesting. I had heard of this Morocco on TV and might have read in history books. It must be some kind of country in Africa. After returning home , I have found no time to look in the world map.
These nite-shops had a fabulous food boiling hot and ready to be served. I must confess that the thought crossed my mind to taste that hot food at 4:00 am, but my gut would not have allowed this deviation. But with second thought now, I feel I should have tried that food. (food probably comes next to sex in terms of haunting the human mind, even my mind).
Early mornings were quite beautiful.
Brick-roads, lazy cars parked on both sides and surprisingly not a single bird heard giving a food call. I could of course cross the roads without worrying about cars passing by.
All these night experiences on Brussels roads were pleasant. I haven’t left my heart in Brussels, not even in the Palace, which we saw on last morning there on our way back to Airport.
The day-experiences were typical. All business , all money talk and white lies for the missed commitments to our customers.
Due to sub-optimal planning, we had no time left for sight seeing or shopping in the city. May be next time we should plan properly.
How to build Teams
© Dr. Uday B. Gokhale
Hiring, retaining and motivating the talent has been a challenge for most of the companies ( why , even for Non-profit , NGOs ). The primary responsibility for hiring is shared by HRD from front. Apparently none worries about retaining the talent till the resignation letter (normally the rumor) travels to the boss. Motivation again is not taken that seriously since we consider ‘pep-talk’ to be potentially patronizing and hence a politically incorrect activity.
Usually persons are hired out of desperation to ‘man’ the activity and then he/she becomes a mere statistic with salary department.
The timidity of person makes him continue till thy neighbor’s wife becomes irresistible and he quits for ‘personal reasons’.
Fun apart, these issues are getting quite serious these days with the advent of internet and attendant awareness levels of the employees. Democratization has played a big role in sensitizing citizens on their potentials. Comparisons between employers, between bosses, between policies are carried out by employees more intensely since they are more connected these days. Working Spouse also furnishes a distinct leverage point for jumping the job. It will be a matter of debate to assess if these issues are novel or have been there all along.
How to address attrition rate?
Matching salary as per the market value of employee is one way but has no outer limits and hence difficult to adopt as a policy. May be we can decide the outer limits for each position based upon the intrinsic need of the skills. This decision can be made by the most informed person in the organization. Like , if we think that an officer with B.Com. degree and 2 years hands-on-experience is worth 3 lakhs CTC , then we should be able to hand-out same CTC to a person with B.A ( History major ) degree but capable of delivering same output. By this rather bizarre example I am trying to de-link educational degrees from the work content.
If you think this too far out a proposal, you are right. To fight with strange scenario of Johns jumping for a thousand or two bucks a month , you need to create a fleet of substitutes within the organization to take their place. Search around. They are in tons. Ready with the skills but kept out due to no paper qualification.
This is one way to combat the musical chair game. I am aware that this solution is not widely acceptable but then that is the point. Since blind folded HRD folks in other organizations would never take your history major as an accountant, you shall keep him until of course he/she joins a correspondence course to earn the desired degree.
No universal solutions would be available to address specific needs , plus it is the differential hiring and retaining policies which shall give us competitive advantage over others.
De-link paper qualification from the experiential skill-sets. Try the placements using this style and analyze the attrition trends over next two years.
This will work against the challenge of ‘growing economy and more employers to shell out higher salaries’.
I have used this style earlier. Mainly out of desperation to have some team around me against frugal employers. It was a win –win for all !
Now we are at the next challenge of retaining the talent.
I could address this in past when I climbed down my ivory tower. I redefined talent in a practical context and not as in ‘calculating trajectories for launching satellite in the orbit ’. Bingo! Everybody around me had plenty talent waiting to be unearthed. Hence everybody needed to be retained.
In fact once the team members became aware that I had noticed their talent and I was respecting them as an adult individual; they started loving their jobs. A small compliment about their achievements, an occasional cash reward for a tiny brain-wave went a long way.
As an adult individual they were quick to notice the difference between the ways their friends were treated in other companies Vs their own experience. Normally a respectful treatment is worth 1 K per month even for a 50 K CTC person. See, there is the proverbial 20 % rise taken-care-of already.
“Jesus Christ, I never thought it would work” – From the boss helps people realize their importance in the scheme of things. As adults they know that their friends in other companies are surrounded by “ I know it all ” bosses. Have a bare foot approach , and the team will go along.
Another aspect is of providing a strong leadership. No body ever wanted to have limpet as a boss. Once your team knows that you will raise the hell if team’s interests are in trouble they will ensure that output comes in time and potential hurdles are pointed out well in time.
In other words, it is the line management who should be blamed if team is not kept adequately stimulated intellectually & spiritually. More specifically, if persons are leaving just for 20 % rise, HRD is off the hook. If someone is leaving for 40 % +, then HRD could invite a blame .
Now motivation doesn’t need to be addressed separately since you cannot retain the employees unless you keep them motivated.
I have gone out of the way in past in order to help my junior team members enroll for a higher degree. This I had done over and above the clear policy of de-linking increments / promotions from paper qualifications.
Most of the times I have seen that superiors fail in motivating their teams because they themselves are in decision crisis. They have their insecurities.
Hence no matter how much effort we do on salary front, unless senior staff is trained properly in leadership skills , no sustainable equilibrium could be attained. System shall go haywire in spite of having top of the line pay-packages.
It is not only the national standing of the organization which creates image in the minds of prospective employees. Not even sales turnover figures. It is the treasure /sense of achievement one carries home every evening. It is the comments-on-company our departing employees pass on to their friends after 6 beers, which set the tone for next batch of applicants.
In nut shell
1. We may compare and contrast our salary structure Vs that of companies in our league. Then decide to match. ( I wish I didn’t write this because I know it is difficult to practice )
2. List the employees who have adequate skills but no paper qualification. Prioritize their up gradation. This is the buffer pool we have.
3. Ensure that each HOD praises at least one team member weekly once. HOD would appreciate how a particular matter has progressed due to his/her contribution. Praise should be practical with no patronizing overtones. This works like a charm!
4. Study if the departing persons in past have left for about 20 % jumps. If more than 50 % have left for this reason, then surely something is wrong with our salary structure. (“Growing economy can not be blamed”!).
5. Exit interviews should be taken by very senior managers since this is the last impression person carries with him.
6. If disproportionately large departures are observed in any department, act fast and contain the fire by training the head of dept. in leadership qualities.
7. Reward star performers below age 40 by hefty cash awards.
8. Reward star performers above age 40 by hefty cash awards plus a family dinner with HRD head.
9. Reward star performers around age 50 by heftier cash rewards ( Forget the Maslow’s pyramid , these are the folks who have suffered due to ‘slow economy’ of yester years !!)
Hiring, retaining and motivating the talent has been a challenge for most of the companies ( why , even for Non-profit , NGOs ). The primary responsibility for hiring is shared by HRD from front. Apparently none worries about retaining the talent till the resignation letter (normally the rumor) travels to the boss. Motivation again is not taken that seriously since we consider ‘pep-talk’ to be potentially patronizing and hence a politically incorrect activity.
Usually persons are hired out of desperation to ‘man’ the activity and then he/she becomes a mere statistic with salary department.
The timidity of person makes him continue till thy neighbor’s wife becomes irresistible and he quits for ‘personal reasons’.
Fun apart, these issues are getting quite serious these days with the advent of internet and attendant awareness levels of the employees. Democratization has played a big role in sensitizing citizens on their potentials. Comparisons between employers, between bosses, between policies are carried out by employees more intensely since they are more connected these days. Working Spouse also furnishes a distinct leverage point for jumping the job. It will be a matter of debate to assess if these issues are novel or have been there all along.
How to address attrition rate?
Matching salary as per the market value of employee is one way but has no outer limits and hence difficult to adopt as a policy. May be we can decide the outer limits for each position based upon the intrinsic need of the skills. This decision can be made by the most informed person in the organization. Like , if we think that an officer with B.Com. degree and 2 years hands-on-experience is worth 3 lakhs CTC , then we should be able to hand-out same CTC to a person with B.A ( History major ) degree but capable of delivering same output. By this rather bizarre example I am trying to de-link educational degrees from the work content.
If you think this too far out a proposal, you are right. To fight with strange scenario of Johns jumping for a thousand or two bucks a month , you need to create a fleet of substitutes within the organization to take their place. Search around. They are in tons. Ready with the skills but kept out due to no paper qualification.
This is one way to combat the musical chair game. I am aware that this solution is not widely acceptable but then that is the point. Since blind folded HRD folks in other organizations would never take your history major as an accountant, you shall keep him until of course he/she joins a correspondence course to earn the desired degree.
No universal solutions would be available to address specific needs , plus it is the differential hiring and retaining policies which shall give us competitive advantage over others.
De-link paper qualification from the experiential skill-sets. Try the placements using this style and analyze the attrition trends over next two years.
This will work against the challenge of ‘growing economy and more employers to shell out higher salaries’.
I have used this style earlier. Mainly out of desperation to have some team around me against frugal employers. It was a win –win for all !
Now we are at the next challenge of retaining the talent.
I could address this in past when I climbed down my ivory tower. I redefined talent in a practical context and not as in ‘calculating trajectories for launching satellite in the orbit ’. Bingo! Everybody around me had plenty talent waiting to be unearthed. Hence everybody needed to be retained.
In fact once the team members became aware that I had noticed their talent and I was respecting them as an adult individual; they started loving their jobs. A small compliment about their achievements, an occasional cash reward for a tiny brain-wave went a long way.
As an adult individual they were quick to notice the difference between the ways their friends were treated in other companies Vs their own experience. Normally a respectful treatment is worth 1 K per month even for a 50 K CTC person. See, there is the proverbial 20 % rise taken-care-of already.
“Jesus Christ, I never thought it would work” – From the boss helps people realize their importance in the scheme of things. As adults they know that their friends in other companies are surrounded by “ I know it all ” bosses. Have a bare foot approach , and the team will go along.
Another aspect is of providing a strong leadership. No body ever wanted to have limpet as a boss. Once your team knows that you will raise the hell if team’s interests are in trouble they will ensure that output comes in time and potential hurdles are pointed out well in time.
In other words, it is the line management who should be blamed if team is not kept adequately stimulated intellectually & spiritually. More specifically, if persons are leaving just for 20 % rise, HRD is off the hook. If someone is leaving for 40 % +, then HRD could invite a blame .
Now motivation doesn’t need to be addressed separately since you cannot retain the employees unless you keep them motivated.
I have gone out of the way in past in order to help my junior team members enroll for a higher degree. This I had done over and above the clear policy of de-linking increments / promotions from paper qualifications.
Most of the times I have seen that superiors fail in motivating their teams because they themselves are in decision crisis. They have their insecurities.
Hence no matter how much effort we do on salary front, unless senior staff is trained properly in leadership skills , no sustainable equilibrium could be attained. System shall go haywire in spite of having top of the line pay-packages.
It is not only the national standing of the organization which creates image in the minds of prospective employees. Not even sales turnover figures. It is the treasure /sense of achievement one carries home every evening. It is the comments-on-company our departing employees pass on to their friends after 6 beers, which set the tone for next batch of applicants.
In nut shell
1. We may compare and contrast our salary structure Vs that of companies in our league. Then decide to match. ( I wish I didn’t write this because I know it is difficult to practice )
2. List the employees who have adequate skills but no paper qualification. Prioritize their up gradation. This is the buffer pool we have.
3. Ensure that each HOD praises at least one team member weekly once. HOD would appreciate how a particular matter has progressed due to his/her contribution. Praise should be practical with no patronizing overtones. This works like a charm!
4. Study if the departing persons in past have left for about 20 % jumps. If more than 50 % have left for this reason, then surely something is wrong with our salary structure. (“Growing economy can not be blamed”!).
5. Exit interviews should be taken by very senior managers since this is the last impression person carries with him.
6. If disproportionately large departures are observed in any department, act fast and contain the fire by training the head of dept. in leadership qualities.
7. Reward star performers below age 40 by hefty cash awards.
8. Reward star performers above age 40 by hefty cash awards plus a family dinner with HRD head.
9. Reward star performers around age 50 by heftier cash rewards ( Forget the Maslow’s pyramid , these are the folks who have suffered due to ‘slow economy’ of yester years !!)
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